I just have one question, who is Tom Leykos?

"Now I'll make my fiancees like miserable the entire time Tom stays on til he changes it."

"He hates when I go on tangents over anything, how did such a laid back guy end up with a volcano anyway?"

Are you sure your strategy here is wise? I know it would drive me insane, personally speaking. Any time my girlfriend decides to knowingly and voluntarily make my life miserable...well...it just drives a wedge between us. I simply won't put up with such behavior. If a woman plays that kind of game with me repeatedly, the relationship is over. I'd never do this to my girlfriend, and I expect to be treated at least as well as I treat her....

When I come up to "problems" in my relationships, I have the following philosophy, which works pretty well for me:

1) NEVER argue about a problem if at all possible to avoid it. Even if my partner argues, do my best NOT to argue back.

2) Ask myself, "is this problem really a big deal to me? Is this something that I just can't live/deal with?" Answer this question to myself honestly.

3) If the answer to that question is "no," then I simply say "no problem dear, I'm happy to do what you say," and fulfill the request/demand. Then it is important that I actually fulfill the request to the best of my ability. Not do it half-assed or begrudgingly. Just do it well. Doing it less than well just proves that I didn't really mean I was happy to do it.

4) If the answer to that question is "yes," then I simply say "look dear, I love you and respect you, but what you're asking of me is never going to happen. I refuse to argue about this, and I refuse to budge on it. You're welcome to talk all you want to try to convince me, if that's what you really want to do, but I can tell you right now that I'm not going to change my mind about it, and I'm requesting that you drop this right now." Then it is important that I live my word: don't argue, listen, and don't ever give in. If I do give in, it sends a clear message that arguing works. If I never give in, it sends a clear message that my word is bond.

Okay, so obviously this is my little technique, and it works well for me, but that doesn't mean it will work well for everyone. I've given this to many couples I know, and all of them appreciated it. Give it a shot. Arguments suck. Being angry sucks. I find it much better to be clear and understood than in an angry argument.

"I'd rather listen to rap."

Me too, but then I actually LIKE rap. ;-)

"So, who here thinks this is a MEN'S issue? Being denied a vasectomy without his wifes permission? I think this is definitaly an issue for both sexes, because this particular unfairness goes both ways."

Yep, like you say, it goes both ways. But here's the lesson Tom should have given: Get another doctor.

There's a doctor out there who will do the operation you want. He might not be local or on your medical plan, but there's a doctor out there who will do what you ask. They have a CYA (cover your ass) policy on such matters for malpractice reasons. My guess is that too many doctors have been slapped with lawsuits by people who got "snipped" at age 20 or whose partners got "snipped" early in life. But some doctor out there WILL take your money and do what you want.

But yes, it sucks that doctors routinely say "no" to this particular request. There's more than enough babies in the world. Anything that cuts that population down can't be a bad thing. Snip the hell outta anyone who want it...that's what I say!

I wouldn't label this a "men's" or a "women's" issue at all. I'd label it a medical issue. It's just one more example of doctors refusing the care their patients request.

<<And some caller to the show brought up how his friend couldn't get a vasectomy without his wifes permission.>>

I call shenanigans on that. (Or in other words, bullshit.)

<<Then I got pissed yelled my own anger that they were forgetting to mention that a WOMAN after a pregnancy prevention tube tying as a rule gets told no unless she has TWO KIDS and HER HUSBANDS permission.>>

<<I know this, because when I was 18 I tried to get one. :D>>

Were you prohibited or just discouraged?